Why judging people

Hi Shola, I love your positivity and the insight you bring to the table. I often wonder if it is a deep down mechanisim that provokes these nasty people to be that insecure to try and i emphasize TRY to use emotions as a steam to get other people to follow their meanness. When I see someone being mean and hateful to someone or directly to me. It definitely is a turn off. I simply walk away. No need to be around negative auroas.

Keep holding your head high what you are doing is a good thing. Enjoyed this read. In all honesty I was looking for info on how to deal with judgemental people. But when I started reading this it made me reflect on my self. I really try not to be judgmental but I catch myself doing some of the things on here.

I also catch myself being curious to why people act the way they do. Am I wrong to want to limit my interaction with these self loved and judgmental people? Thank you for your sharing this info on judging others. I have been guilty of this quite often. As I get older it seems to get worse because I think I know everything haha. I live in an affluent neighborhood where most of the people are quite fit, dress nicely and have expensive houses and cars.

It can be easy to get caught up in that trap along with everyone. The folks that I am surrounded by are also extremely competitive. This is passed down to their children and it can be a very sad situation.

Sporting events out here have become almost comical. Anyway, thanks for your wise words and I really appreciate your example of the lady in the gym. I will try to remember that the next time I try to judge someone.

What a helpful blog entry. Thank you. I have sensed insecurity in myself in the form of judging and went looking for a blog that might address it. The part about being curious was so helpful. It seems like it would allow empathy to maybe take the place of the judgement. So I will be forgiven. Such a beautiful post. I have noticed that I am becoming aware I judge others.

The other day , I judge friends for their mistakes in their relationships. How unaware they are and selfish…no coherent,etc. Now, I feel bad myself for being so critical. Great post! Laws act to prevent certain actions, like murder and theft, because we judge those actions to be wrong, and destructive to society.

We can and should judge the actions of an overweight person eating fast food, or a drunk person getting in their car. Their actions may be understandable, but it does not make their actions acceptable, or good. Not a good idea. Judgement is a powerful tool and we need to be careful not to beat other people over the head with it. I was told tonight that I was a judgemental person. It hit me like a ton of bricks because I felt I was one of the least judgemental people I knew. But was I really?

I started to self reflect and wanted to learn more of what being judgemental really meant, so began to search and read. Along the way I ended up here. What an eye opener!

Such an insightful blog and thank you to all the other posters for sharing your experiences as well. A lot of it hit home for me. I will admit that through out my travels I lost some of my empathy and compassion along the way.

So thank you all for helping to open my eyes and mind. I definitely have some work ahead of me and I think curiosity is a great place to start. I am judgemental a lot about appearance. Thank you so very much! Your article has spared me from self torture lasting any longer than it had to. Life has been such a beautiful experience, full of good and bad.

A few years ago, not so much. It feels so much better inside once we reach that place! Those reading this, you can do it!!! Make a choice to find peace! Be kind to yourself!! Just as you get down on yourself, praise yourself!!

Love always wins! Chin up, wings out! Be the person you seek others to be! It all starts with ourselves! Go inside and listen, the answer is always found deep within! I would admit that I have judged. What I feel irritated about, is when others tell me that they have every right to judge another person. I agree with this article. I am so happy to have come across this article!!! I am 22 years old as of last month and have struggled throughout life with judgment of both myself and others.

I have the most judgment around those areas of life in myself and I see it reflected a lot in how I have judged others. Another area is in regards to relationships, I have struggled historically in the past to feel secure in my abilities to be lovable and also in fear of enmeshment or commitment. I can see much clearer now that the things I would get frustrated in others for was a big mirror to the things I was afraid to work on within myself.

I also think that boundaries are important and that by developing a secure sense of self AND boundaries that judgment will lessen. Before I used to let others walk all over me and resentment would build up rather than me just allowing myself to be vulnerable with how I really felt which was hurt or afraid or rejected etc. Thank you again so much for writing this, it was something I needed to read and remind myself because intellectually knew it from a couple years of research, and this coming up has helped to freshen that seed in my brain.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Over a decade ago, I was drowning in the despondency of yet another workday. My success as the top regional performer had been numbed by a culture of incessant workplace bullying. In short, I was collateral damage in a company without the process or intention to address my experience. Exhausted from the drama, with an unrecognizable version of myself at the wheel, I intentionally swerved off the interstate in an attempt to take my own life.

But in that half-second, my reflexes responded, and I yanked the wheel away from disaster. As I clipped the guardrail on I , something changed I am interested in Do you know what judging others reveals about you? A lot. Judgment can really be an ugly thing. Yes, judgment really is such an ugly thing.

The Truth About Judgment When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself. Whenever I slip up and start becoming judgmental of others, I take a step back, and remind myself of this truth: We usually judge others in the areas where we feel the weakest.

Seriously, think about it. Yeah, me neither. Our insecurities. Our weaknesses. She has an opinion on anything and everything. A scribe for two decades, she writes on various topics including art, literature, relationships, lifestyle and anything that arouses her interest from time to time.

When not into writing, she paints. Follow barshanag on Twitter. The least amount of judging we can do, the better off we are, says Michael J Fox. But interestingly a cousin confesses that she enjoys judging other people, it helps her boost self-esteem and she feels better about herself. Here are a few of the most important reasons why we should not judge other people.

So judge less, accept more, and restore your happiness. Can Mamata go national? Successful coalitions at the Centre have been usually headed by leaders with weak power bases.

Is a green Diwali possible? Ultra right and wrong: Women in India face a new threat to their freedom of choice. Nehru, Iqbal, cricket and the question of Muslim identity. Hate smug liberals? Judgements are often projections — things we secretly worry are true about ourselves that we then dump onto another person. This can create momentary relief, as you can convince yourself the thing you find so unsavoury is nothing to do with you.

The above reasons for judging others might make it clear to you what you are actually losing out on with your habit. By: Sheila Sund. In summary, the price we pay for judging others is that we are secretly very lonely , and feel misunderstood. So it turns out that judging others has a very high price indeed. So what would help is trying to understand yourself and your habit. How did you end up someone who judges?

Judging others can be a learned habit. You might have grown up in a really negative household, with one parent always coming down hard on the other, or on you and your siblings.

Or perhaps you were sent to a boarding school with very critical teachers who encouraged students to criticise each other. Judging others can be a defence mechanism you developed because of childhood trauma. If we experience something like neglect, poverty, abuse , or abandonment , we can feel so vulnerable and scared we decide nothing will get to us again.

Judging others can be your unconscious way to create a barrier around yourself to keep people at bay. Judging others can also be a way to hide really low self-esteem. Their inability to show compassion for themselves sees them not able to show compassion for others. It becomes a vicious circle. The more they judge and upset others, the lonelier they feel, the less they like themselves, the more they judge themselves, the more they lash out judgements at others. So as you can see, we often end up judging others because we have had some difficult experiences.

We are not a bad, terrible person. We are someone who is secretly hurting ourselves. Unfortunately, we are hiding all of it behind hurting others. If you feel really out of control with your habit of judging others, if you feel you have a lot of anger inside of you, or you find it hard to like yourself, do consider seeking some professional support.

Yes, it can feel scary to go talk to a counsellor or psychotherapist about angry thoughts and hidden emotions. They understand how you got to where you are, and see you and your potentia l behind all your learned habits. And with time and commitment, they can help you see that potential, too, and to start to live from that, instead of a space of feeling flawed or not good enough.